Patience

Yesterday started my first round of false labor contractions.

In the movies, it always seems like there is sudden pain and then water gushing and POP the baby is born.  How I wish that were the case.

I had spent yesterday morning with my mother, helping her out with things for summer school since she is running things at her school.  I remarked how I hadn't felt any Braxton Hicks for a while now.  They had been coming pretty regularly and I even had a bout with them where I nearly went to the hospital because they were accompanied by a migraine like headache.  But that was nearly 2 weeks ago and Charlotte has still not shown up.

Around 4:15 yesterday I started feeling contractions and my first thought was "Thank goodness.  Let's get this puppy rolling."  Wes and I have been trying for days to do different things that would get my labor moving.  Different foods (pineapple, spicy Chinese food, etc.) and activities (walking, walking, oh and WALKING!) are all I seem to think about lately.  But these contractions were suddenly different.  Instead of only being like menstrual cramps in the front, they started in the back and worked their way around.  (In fact, I'm starting to feel them again right now).

I was hesitant to say anything about them, for fear of jinxing it all and having my body say "No, that's all for now". I desperately wanted my body to continue to work, so Wes and I climbed stairs.  About 18 flights of them.  Until I got too hot outside.  When I sat down on the couch I figured that they would stop like the Braxton Hicks do.  But they continued on for the rest of the night.  They came and went every 45 - 60 minutes.  The only thing was that they never got stronger.  I even spent about half an hour outside with my nephew, Wes, and my brother playing Cornhole because I knew that I would have to arch my back to throw those beanbags.  I was hopeful that the movement would keep those contractions coming!  Thankfully they did.

By the time we got home last night at 11pm, they had stopped though.  For nearly 7 hours, my body played such a mean trick on me.  But it's also a good reminder about patience.  I only have 12 days left until she is said to be here.  We all know that babies have their own schedule and I'll be honest and say that I'm sick of waiting.  My nephew is already here and watching my sister-in-law hold him drives me nuts.  I just want to be able to hold my own little girl, our first child, and the love of our life.

I find myself praying for one of two things, either labor or patience.  But I know that you cannot bargain with God.  Between my pregnancy and SO many other things going on in my family life (my grandfather falling and breaking three ribs, then finding out that he had HUGE blood clots in his lungs, one of which could have killed him, but by the grace of God didn't) there seems to be one thing that I am missing.......patience.

As a mother, I know that this is something that I am going to need in abundance.  Patience to deal with screaming and crying.  Patience to deal with upset tummies.  Patience to deal with a child who refuses to be set down.  Patience to deal with long nights and no sleep.  Patience to be a loving wife to my husband when I don't even feel like a person.

A friend of mine wrote out an email today about troubles that he has been having with his car, the dealership, and the insurance company.  LONG story (and it is a long one) short, God provided for him and his wife.  At the end of his email he wrote something that really stuck with me.

"Don't tell your God how big your mountain is.  Tell your mountain how big your God is!"

It's all about patience and faith.  And seeing as how I have a MAJOR mountain hanging off of me, it pleases me to tell her how BIG God really is.  How beautiful is His love for her already.  And of course, His love for her momma and daddy. 

Patience is the name of the game.  Patience and the trust that the Lord is going to deliver her whenever HE sees that it is her time.